Influencers have gone wild. Literally.
It was a calm summer day on my TikTok ‘For You’ page when The Times published an article about Hannah Neeleman— a 34-year-old influencer from Utah—and introduced me to her family of 10. Her life doesn’t consist of going to glitzy red carpet events and rubbing shoulders with the A-Listers, instead, for the last 12 years, it’s been about milking cows and birthing one child after another like some of our grandmothers would have. The reaction? Half were concerned by some things said in the interview, while the other half of the internet loved it—adored it even. Posts of her cooking or dancing in fields with her children are flocked with comments from women who fantasize about having her life themselves. I am not surprised; afterall, Neeleman makes the country life look effortless as she films herself making cheese in denim overalls, her long blonde hair cascading down her back. It’s almost like a scene out of a fashion photoshoot.
She is not the only influencer making kitchen duties chic, enter Nara Smith, 22. She gained popularity for making things like sunscreen and toothpaste from scratch, all whilst wearing designer dresses and pouting her rosy lips. Sometimes I cannot believe what I am watching—this mormon-core world is a far cry from the usual over-the-top polished influencer content. What happened to just getting botox and posing in front of private jets they never actually flew on. As harmful as that wave of influencers was, most of the things they promoted were reversible. You can dissolve filler, or just simply watch an ‘Influencers in the Wild’ video and very quickly gain your sanity (and self-esteem) back. This new trend of trad-wife influencers is tricky—although they’re not promoting tummy teas that could give you diarrhea, they’re popularizing drinking raw milk which poses serious health risks. It is very well documented that raw milk can carry E.Coli, Salmonella, and Listeria, all of which could cause life altering illnesses.
Although there’s no shame in living their lives the way they choose to, I’ve wondered what has made these women rise in popularity in a world that seemed to reject these rigid gender roles many moons ago. The idea of biblically traditional women being influencers seems paradoxical. It’s reminiscent of those photos of actors on set of period dramas dressed in their costumes and using iPhones and MacBooks—like the past meeting the future. Feminist writer and researcher, Dr. Camille Waring, explains, “There has been a resurgence in media that idealizes and romanticizes traditional gender roles…In a fast-paced and complex world, the simplicity and clarity of traditional roles can be appealing. Nostalgia for a perceived simpler past may lead to a desire for more defined and traditional roles within the family and household.” It might seem appealing to stay at home all day with cute babies while your husband handles the bills, but if you ask any older woman in your life what she thinks about this, most of them will likely say, ‘Make sure you have your own money first.’ This lifestyle has led many women into controlling and codependent situations, a reality often overlooked amidst the cooking and gardening videos. This is likely because these so-called trad-wives actually have their own careers and income as content creators, a fact that is rarely addressed.
It hasn’t been very long since women gained freedom. The first cards were issued to UK women in 1975, and the first woman to drive in Dubai only got her license in 2018. It’s been a long journey for women to be granted the same rights as men, and for some, they still haven’t. Girls in Afghanistan have been denied access to an education for more than 1000 days now. By giving trad-wives a platform, are we giving a platform to these very restrictions women have fought to free themselves from? We are currently experiencing the 4th wave of feminism, which according to Dr. Waring is defined by, “the use of social media and digital technologies to amplify voices, organize movements.” What started as women uniting under the #MeToo movement has now evolved into watching housewives go about daily duties. The irony of it all is shocking.
Should we take their content with a pinch of salt? Or should we reject it because having 8 kids and a lack of career prospects is a truly irreversible choice? Does their content guide women into harmful situations? Speaking of gender roles of the past, Dr. Waring says, “The notion that women didn’t work, or that those who didn’t work were subjected to romanticized oppression, is misleading… Trad-wives are sentimental for a time that never truly existed, tailored to suit their own modern agenda.” Women have always worked, the only difference is that they were not compensated for their domestic labor. Even my own grandmother, who ran off to the altar at 17 and had 4 children, always worked. She would often spend the whole day working at the farm alongside my grandfather. The lifestyle trad-wives promote is far removed from the reality of working all day, only to come home to household chores.
This poses the ultimate question—is it healthy to promote the ‘trad-wife’ lifestyle without clarifying or acknowledging one’s privileged career as a content creator? A career that offers enough free time and income to live that very lifestyle? Although being the botox and private jet type of influencer is not much better as Dr. Waring states, “Botox is about maintaining youth, which is a currency for women under capitalism.” When will we as women stop being subjected to one extreme after the other? Is there a time in our future where women are valued beyond their appearance and willingness to carry out domestic duties? Until then, the cycle of unrealistic expectations and superficial ideals will continue to permeate the culture of womanhood.
